AdVerve Episode 32: Steve Jobs' Civil War

Play the show now.

It would’ve felt right to also call this the A.D.D. edition because it’s all over the map topicwise. BUT WE MAKE IT WORK WITH COMMON THREADS. Who else can bridge Steven Jobs’ control freak with the Civil War and choosing sides? Not many. Not that many would try either.

Humor me ››

Think He Planned This?

Steve Jobs, 2 years ago to date, on Kindle: "The whole conception is flawed at the top because people don't read anymore."

Perhaps because he's not a stupid man, iPad is positioned thus:

The best way to experience the web, email, photos, and video. Hands down.

(Because the "book" and the "reading" parts go without saying.)

Image credit: Kimberly White, Reuters.

Angela's Industry Predictions for '08

At one of the publications I write for, the staff put together a list of industry predictions for 2008.

This was my list. If I am lucky and the rest of the team is as unhinged as I am, some of my forecasts will be published in a consolidated list.

Here goes:

1. Microsoft offers VMware unparalleled success and lack of competition in the virtualization front, in exchange for its soul.
   
   VMware accepts. In February it unexpectedly releases a hypervisor called Metatron that empowers remote collaboration (including intercourse, as well as gardening) among cogs across sectors. It is available for a weekly subscription of $2500. All bow down -- and finally trash their white iPod earbuds, just for the hell of it.
   
   
2. The rationale behind all of Six Apart's problems is revealed: it is run by Al Gore, who is using its financing as a front to fund his various inconvenient truths.
   
   
3. Moleskine is purchased by Google, which uses its notebook technology as a platform for a new line of tablets that auto-populate syndicated content -- including email, calendars and blogs of choice -- in a quaint "moving paper" format. In Q3 of 2008, it will open to third-party developers.
   
   
4. Steve Jobs begins sporting a white robe and tasteless Nikes. 2/3 of the world population follows suit. Around April, 1/3 of the latter will follow him into the mouth of a mountain and wait for the aliens. They will wait six weeks before a group of them go, "Screw this!" and go back down, bringing with them stories of Dionysic delights and animal sacrifices -- all to the sound of individual soundtracks.
   
   
5. EU approves the Google/Doubleclick merger. The universe folds in on itself, a little like a teenager curling up into the fetal position, and we all die.

Happy holidays!

iPhone Makes Ad Debut, Adrants Takes Note, Buzz TV Acknowledges, We Reflect

Diggy-diggy. Adrants' post about the iPhone Oscar ad made it on Buzz TV today. How awesome is that? Really rather. I feel like Miss America except without bulimia and 10-pound hair.

I initially thought it weird that Steve Jobs would unveil a yet-to-be-tested new product 6 flippin' months in advance. It struck me as bad climactic timing in terms of building the hype.

But now my feelings are different. Jobs just isn't a dumb guy. That 6 months is flying by, and post-unveiling, Apple wisely opts to bleed iPhone marketing slowly and tactfully instead of getting all colourful and extra-extra, the way they typically push the iPod.

I've been matter-of-factly told more that once that Jobs will most likely do away with the iPod altogether and make iPhone the music crack of the future.

I seriously doubt that, and for the following reasons:

• At costs ranging from $79 to $249, the iPod is much more attractive for starving collegiates than the iPhone's prospective $499-$599 price tag (and that's before the cost of sign-up and selecting a plan, even!).
• While Apple's doubtless garnered serious cultlike loyalty, suggesting people forego other loyalties is just ... well, risky. Let me explain. You probably own an iPod and maybe if you're unstoppably awesome you have a Macbook too. But does your love of Apple eclipse your feelings about your cell phone carrier? That's intimate, man, and that has nothing to do with Apple or how awesome you think the iPhone might be. A lot of Verizonites are out there going, "Hell no, beeyatch!" I'm with Cingular and I'm still wincing at the notion.
• As of July 2006, the iPod alone accounted for 45 percent of Apple's quarterly revenue. You don't swap your prize tea kettle for an espresso maker. The espresso maker might be zippier, shinier and more capable, but they're simply not the same product, and please believe loyal lovers of tea will punish you for it.
  
• An 8GB max capacity doesn't hold a candle to the standard iPod's 80GB. You can forget about movies. And forget about replacing an iPod with a value proposition that subtracts value, or exchanges one service for another (in this case, watching movies v. talking on the phone) on the miracle unit itself. It's just bad biznass.

It remains my strong suspicion that this iPhone ain't all we think it is, miracle tool jokes aside. It's being casually incorporated into the culture so we can get used to the idea of it, after which, come June, we'll be shocked and amazed by what other merit the iPhone happens to possess that we could never ourselves have imagined in our wildest dreams. Guess we'll find out in June.

All right, that's the good word about Apple. It is cookie time.