Everyone Wants a Log!

Don't you?

As a kid I didn't think this Ren & Stimpy spoof ad was funny, but now that I'm old and working in The Industry™ it's taken on a special significance. I mean, the catchy theme song was one thing. But look at all the clever ways they managed to dress Log up for the discriminating youth of tomorrow:

The Many Faces of Log (sorry, no audio; you know how it is on YouTube):



International Log -- PARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS?!! (sigh. Visuals added by the person who uploaded the song.)



Yes sir, I like it!

...But What if You Like Soundbytes?

Charlie Brooker explains how to walk the reporter walk and talk the reporter talk. Wait for the part with the lighthouse keeper and the laserbeam!

Via homie Beeg.

Angela's Industry Predictions for '08

At one of the publications I write for, the staff put together a list of industry predictions for 2008.

This was my list. If I am lucky and the rest of the team is as unhinged as I am, some of my forecasts will be published in a consolidated list.

Here goes:

1. Microsoft offers VMware unparalleled success and lack of competition in the virtualization front, in exchange for its soul.
   
   VMware accepts. In February it unexpectedly releases a hypervisor called Metatron that empowers remote collaboration (including intercourse, as well as gardening) among cogs across sectors. It is available for a weekly subscription of $2500. All bow down -- and finally trash their white iPod earbuds, just for the hell of it.
   
   
2. The rationale behind all of Six Apart's problems is revealed: it is run by Al Gore, who is using its financing as a front to fund his various inconvenient truths.
   
   
3. Moleskine is purchased by Google, which uses its notebook technology as a platform for a new line of tablets that auto-populate syndicated content -- including email, calendars and blogs of choice -- in a quaint "moving paper" format. In Q3 of 2008, it will open to third-party developers.
   
   
4. Steve Jobs begins sporting a white robe and tasteless Nikes. 2/3 of the world population follows suit. Around April, 1/3 of the latter will follow him into the mouth of a mountain and wait for the aliens. They will wait six weeks before a group of them go, "Screw this!" and go back down, bringing with them stories of Dionysic delights and animal sacrifices -- all to the sound of individual soundtracks.
   
   
5. EU approves the Google/Doubleclick merger. The universe folds in on itself, a little like a teenager curling up into the fetal position, and we all die.

Happy holidays!