There was only one social network … but most of your friends died of dysentery.

Microsoft's produced an Internet Explorer ad that ties an audience of hipsterfied "individuals" to the decade that unifies them: the '90s. Yeah, you may have novelty shoes now, but you still played Oregon Trail, didn't you?

It's the one MSFT ad in a decade that makes you smile -- and not ironically. It may even make you long for the period when times were simpler and Microsoft was, indeed, the shit (the whisper between the lines). If a fond reminder of neon green DOS commands had been tossed in here somewhere, it wouldn't have been out-of-place.

The ad wraps with an invitation to try the new Internet Explorer -- a browser that's grown up, like you. And while the finale music is triumphant and warm, we're brought back to the Current State of Affairs with almost alarming rapidity.

Yeah, we've grown up. We can't try the new IE, because Microsoft's cut it away from the generation that opened its doors and wallets to Mac ... although we still have to reverse-optimise online products for clients that still use IE6, which doesn't endear us to the brand either. Our Word docs still crash and the usability of Surface tablets make us cringe. Our everyday loves and losses revolve around Android and App Store apps. And if we even bother to remember a browser that marks this period, it'll probably be Chrome or Firefox, because they're part of the brigade that constructed the ruling user experience alongside us, instead of forcing us to play by constricting, bug-ridden yardsticks.

Looks like the only thing we have left in common today, old friend, is a general dissatisfaction with what the other's grown into. No hard feelings; that happens. The only problem is, looking fondly back on old times may be fun for a night, but it won't save a relationship. That's another thing we learned growing up.

Via and via and originally posted here.

The Kinect Effect/L'Effet Kinect

The Kinect gaming experience is surprisingly delightful on its own, but better still are the hacks sprouting up as a result of what it can do.

This isn't just about its potential to bring Star Wars technology out of the fictional realm. My favourite hack turns tourists into statues, but a more dedicated gaming public will probably be more interested in Kinect's possibilities for cybersex.

All that's just iceberg tips. In a rare and beautiful moment of lucidity, Microsoft -- with help from twofifteenmccann San Francisco -- gives us "The Kinect Effect", a human and impactful piece of work that provides a survey of what's been done with Kinect so far, using a voice that both illuminates viewers and seems touchingly grateful.

Humor me ››

The Race to Own Real-Time Search...

...begins and ends in 24 hours, more or less.

Shortly after Microsoft is said to have inked a liaison to incorporate Twitter and Facebook updates into Bing, Google announces a similar deal with Twitter.

Success and usefulness of either will depend on how they decide to present that living breathing gangbang of real-time data. Can't wait to see how it pans out.

Interesting though how no one has yet come up with a freeform (and indexable) way to share thoughts in real-time that can viably compete with Twitter. I guess that's part of what Google's trying to do with Wave, but can't say for sure as I don't have it yet. (*scowls*)

'Spell-Check This: D-E-D.'

Office 2010: The Movie. Coming to an office near you.

Props to Microsoft for knowing how to laugh at itself, and for making Clippy seem like a stand-up dude, but all the throwback stuff that makes this camptastic "trailer" good also reminds me how every version of Office is more of the same. It's depressing.

Who the fuck uses Wingdings?

(v.)

Guess Who!

"Microsoft is classy, it's a timeless brand, and it means something to the world."

Give up? Answer here. I never saw that coming.

'I'm a PC and I Sell Fish!'

Love love LOVE the new "I'm a PC" ads. They are contagiously friendly. Also, Pharrell Williams is my secret boyfriend.

Want more? See "I'm a PC and I wear a suit" and "I'm a PC and I am not alone."

Microsoft Shafts Seinfeld Campaign

... in favor of a direct rebuttal to "Mac vs. PC." What's more, it claims this was its plan all along.

Ugh. Nobody knows how to commit anymore.

Bill and Ted, Ben and Jerry, Bill and Jerry.

Two of a kind? Birds of a feather? Something like that.




See the review.

Oh Yeah, and Before I Forget...

Here's "Shoe Circus," the Microsoft ad with Seinfeld that everybody's going all bananas about. (And not in a fun way.)



Went live yesterday. I actually sorta liked it. But after reading all the negging, you start seeing what other people are seeing, and then you start to think the ad objectively sucks.

I don't want to be that kind of blogger, so put me on the record and try me thus: I liked it. That's right, I liked it!

*flinches reflexively*

As If Microsoft Needed an Excuse Before

Intel: "Nyah, nyah, Microsoft. Now that we've got Apple's business, we don't need to take any shit from you. In fact, we're giving you shit. We're gonna force you to lie and cheat so we can meet our quarterly earnings."

Microsoft: "Hey guy, no need to twist our arms. We've got the 'Windows Vista Capable' stickers right here." Off to the side: "Ybarra, why don't you go over there and start some correspondence about how we're caving to Intel's machinations."

Aw ... a Search Engine Catfight

Yesterday, when saner people were making pigskin pigs-in-a-blanket for their Super Bowl fêtes, Google published a punchy blog post about how Microsoft is trying to monopolize the internet with its Yahoo bid. (Can you hear the subtle "Mommy, mommy, look what he's doing!"?)

Microsoft, ever the down-to-your-leveler, went, "Well, YOU HIT ME FIRST!" Or something. (MarketingVOX summarizes both nicely.)

And soon -- really, too soon -- after all that, ZDNet let loose about what it calls Google's "Let's annoy Microsoft" campaign. Word is Google reached out to Yahoo after Microsoft made the indecent proposal on Friday.

This intensifying shoving match is just one more reason why solving problems over rock-paper-scissors never gets old.

Angela's Industry Predictions for '08

At one of the publications I write for, the staff put together a list of industry predictions for 2008.

This was my list. If I am lucky and the rest of the team is as unhinged as I am, some of my forecasts will be published in a consolidated list.

Here goes:

1. Microsoft offers VMware unparalleled success and lack of competition in the virtualization front, in exchange for its soul.
   
   VMware accepts. In February it unexpectedly releases a hypervisor called Metatron that empowers remote collaboration (including intercourse, as well as gardening) among cogs across sectors. It is available for a weekly subscription of $2500. All bow down -- and finally trash their white iPod earbuds, just for the hell of it.
   
   
2. The rationale behind all of Six Apart's problems is revealed: it is run by Al Gore, who is using its financing as a front to fund his various inconvenient truths.
   
   
3. Moleskine is purchased by Google, which uses its notebook technology as a platform for a new line of tablets that auto-populate syndicated content -- including email, calendars and blogs of choice -- in a quaint "moving paper" format. In Q3 of 2008, it will open to third-party developers.
   
   
4. Steve Jobs begins sporting a white robe and tasteless Nikes. 2/3 of the world population follows suit. Around April, 1/3 of the latter will follow him into the mouth of a mountain and wait for the aliens. They will wait six weeks before a group of them go, "Screw this!" and go back down, bringing with them stories of Dionysic delights and animal sacrifices -- all to the sound of individual soundtracks.
   
   
5. EU approves the Google/Doubleclick merger. The universe folds in on itself, a little like a teenager curling up into the fetal position, and we all die.

Happy holidays!

On Gates, and the Market at Large

"Can a dude break free and still get honored at home?"

- Common

It's easy to forget on days like this that, once upon a time, Microsoft was a breath of fresh air.

I once had a teacher who said, "Tell me Bill Gates doesn't deserve to be the richest man in the world. Can you develop something to top DOS? I guarantee you - the day we're using hovercrafts to get around, we're still going to be using DOS to power them."

A popular rebuttal to this argument is, "Well, Bill Gates didn't develop DOS - he stole and monetized it."

Regardless of whether or not Gates himself developed DOS, it was, without argument, Gates who monetized it. That means he took a technology available to a few and turned it into a tool whose benefits we all have the luxury of taking for granted today.

What is more revolutionary than that?

So with that in mind, why is Bill Gates perceived as any different from the Robin Hoods and Horatio Algers of the world?

Maybe the reason why the devvies who make major contributions, then sell out, is because they're not selling out. Maybe the market is rewarding their efforts - and justly so.

That's not to say the market doesn't make mistakes, and that people with bad agendas or counterproductive ideas don't get wealthy. But the market also has an uncanny ability to correct its mistakes over time - and without remorse.

Consider Enron.

And consider the way Microsoft, long past its prime, is flailing today.

The mighty fall hard...