'Poor Little Girl, Alone in Paris.'

The Man™ likes to say that when he wants to give me angst. But if I'm alone in Paris, it's more my fault than the city's.

It's the wee hours of the morning on a Saturday night. Still recovering from London. And instead of going to a birthday party for a good friend, I stayed in eating chocolate cake and abusing the internet.

My footprints:

• The Greatest Star Trek Directors - This list makes me mad because I bet the majority of people that boosted JJ Abrams have never watched another Star Trek movie. You should see at least three before you ethically permit yourself to vote. Just sayin'.

• Star Trek XXX: The io9 Review [NSFW] - The lower you scroll, the curiouser it gets. But if you're wondering about the genre itself, it can be summed up in three generalities (provided by the above link):

It's always about the original series crew for some reason

it's always kind of silly, since the porn producers are relying on a "parody" loophole to make Trek porn without getting sued

It always features a Spock who's skeevy and/or unsexy.

• Obscene interiors: Ever noticed the backgrounds in porn? Or how effective the Photoshop green screen is at capturing every last chest hair?
• Rhino Records: 1973 - 2009 - Depressing data for music lovers and aesthetes alike.
• The Obamas with the Spanish Prime Minister's goth daughters (via Twitter someplace. Isn't this prime AFP material?):

• Gorillapod. I want one of these more than I want painless childbirth.
• Chuck Norris Facts - in French! "Chuck Norris ne se mouille pas, c'est l'eau qui se Chuck Norris." They're not all funny though. I found it while Googling for the Chuck Norris Wikipedia page, which is a whoppin' 3 results down. Chuck Norris Facts come first. And that on its own merits a bullet-point.
• Wrong Hole, which is really only exciting to me because Scott Baio is in it. You gotta love the sight of that wholesome face (barefoot! and in a sweater!) in such a sensational context:

I mean, right?!

• My Little Memory. It's the Concentration game you remember from childhood, Frenched-up and brought to you by Clinique. I saw it in a Facebook ad and played once for a chance to win a year's worth of this stuff I'll never use. But after all that Star Trek porn, I was so charmed by the tame oh la la! graphics that I played 500 more times. Apparently I suck at Concentration though.

And that, my friends, is how I've blown away the last six hours.