Unexpected Encounter

Dead duck in the water.

I strode into the office bathroom today and found myself face-to-face with a tanned, grinning man with crisp-cut silver hair and a baby blue polo shirt. He was holding a gigantic roll of paper towels out toward me like a peace offering.

"How are ya!" he shouted.

"Hello," I said. "Am I in the right bathroom?"

"Yes!" he shouted. "Don't mind me. I'm just installing these." And he freed one of his hands to pat a plastic paper towel dispenser sitting on the sink.

"Oh," I said. "All right."

I went into a stall to wizz, but I couldn't bring myself to do it with him out there whistling, so I shuffled some paper around and flushed. Then I walked out to wash my hands, moving one of the dispensers over to access the sink.

"I'm sorry about the inconvenience," he said, still smiling gamely.

"Not at all," I said. I reached over to an already-installed dispenser for a towel.

"These machines are great," he said, patting one he'd just set on the wall. "All recycled material. Motion sensor." He waved his hand in front of the machine to demonstrate, then tore the paper out and threw it in the trash. "Great for the environment. In fact, this company is one of the most environmentally-friendly ones in its field."

"Kimberly-Clark?"

"No!" He looked offended. I'd never seen a janitor so passionate about his towel dispensers. "Tork."

"I've never heard of them," I said. "They must be new."

"No, they're not. In fact they're global. See, look here." He ran his hand in front of the sensor and some towel slid out. "You have to take what's there. It won't dispense more if there's something there to take. I'll show you." He slid his hand over the sensor again and another foot of towel slid out.

"Usually it works." He tore the sheets, stuffed them into the trash and tried again. This time the dispenser held its ground; no more towel for the greedy towel man.

"Impressive," I said.

"Also, we'll be installing foam soaps over the sinks instead of that pink liquid. Foam doesn't drip all over the counters, see."

"Delicious!" I said.

A moment's pause. I twitched my foot forward to go. He stuck his hand out. "I'm a salesman for Tork," he said with a pearly-white grin.

"Hello," I said. We shook hands.

"You let me know if you need anything."

"Oh yes," I said. "I will." And then I escaped before he could pitch me a bidet.

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Thanks @redrabbit for helping me find a handy-dandy paper towel dispenser photo. =P