New Logo.

Instead of embarrassingly self-important potential trainwrecks like The Pitch,* advertising could use a mockumentary-style series on what it is actually like to hear things like this all day. It can be a nice postmodern response to Mad Men that brings to light how many wrong turns you can take on your merry route to finding a brand's soul, not to mention the ongoing battles between clients and agencies on how that soul should manifest.

We'll just use satire to protect the innocent, and maybe along the way there will be those rare moments of gold and of conviction. But most of our players aren't Don Draper, though they all bloody well believe they are, and that can be part of the fun.

And the conferences! God, you could devote a whole thread to the conferences alone. Most industries use them to get trashed and forget work for a week; only in advertising do you find that people are getting trashed because they think it's making their ideas richer, fuller, more palatable. But after 4 days of sleeplessness and your eighth drink of the night, all that's really happening is that you've lost all capacity to catch subtle (and ever-increasing) human cues of disinterest and derision.

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*It's possible that I'm being too hard on The Pitch. In a way it could be exactly the mockumentary I imagine, except not on purpose, and that will be just as good.

On Profile Photos of Obnoxiously Hot Women

It's funny how quickly things change. In the MySpace days I would look at profile photos like this and think "low-hanging fruit", but today I just think "spambot".

Thinking.

There are mornings when I wake up and feel pleasantly surprised by the fact that I am no longer in college.*

It hits me all afresh, like coming out of a dream, and then I get giddy.**

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* If only I could remember where I put my diploma.

** We're finally at the grown-up, freewheely part of Life where we can just make things up as we go! When you're a kid, you never imagine you'll get to this point -- and here I am, all nestled in the middle of it like a surprise cream filling.

Thinking.

Zuma is a lot like heroin in that it will slowly consume your life, to no obvious purpose, while robbing you of livelihood and social vivacity.

But a Zuma addiction has fewer benefits. Case in point: while heroin addicts can probably find a junkie or two to hook up with, nobody in this universe thinks it's sexy to spend all your time playing an advergame.