(If we ever have a conversation like this one, it's because I'm playing Zuma on Mute.)

Sayed (by phone): ...so I go into this toilet in Pakistan, which is nothing more than a 20-foot hole in the ground, and this CHICKEN falls inside it!

Me: ... Hahaha! Poor girl.

Sayed: Did you not hear what I said? A chicken.

Me: Then that's not funny, it's sad. It might teach a drunk chick to fall into a latrine every once in awhile, but chickens are stupid. It'll probably die in there.

Sayed: Heh. Chickens are stupid. Anyway, people keep them as pets over there, and my uncle thought my cousin had put it in the hole on purpose. He got in SO much fucking trouble.

Me: Hahaha! Aww. Poor girl.

Sayed: You're not listening. Are you laughing just to laugh?

Me: No, no, I'm listening.

Sayed: ...Heh. 'Chickens are stupid.'

Thinking.

Zuma is a lot like heroin in that it will slowly consume your life, to no obvious purpose, while robbing you of livelihood and social vivacity.

But a Zuma addiction has fewer benefits. Case in point: while heroin addicts can probably find a junkie or two to hook up with, nobody in this universe thinks it's sexy to spend all your time playing an advergame.