Uncle Who Speaks with British Accent Because He Spent, Like, 8 Months in the UK Once Many Years Ago (UWSBABHSL8MUKOMYA): Oh, so Angela couldn't come down for Christmas? That's too bad.
Mom: I know it's too bad. She changed jobs recently and decided to stay in Paris this season.
UWSBABHSL8MUKOMYA: Tell me if she needs any help. I still know a few people back in France, and they can do amazing things for her.
UWSBABHSL8MUKOMYA: She likes children, doesn't she? She'd make a splendid au pair. The benefits for au pairs in France are unparalleled -- they even get their own rooms!
Mom: You obviously don't know my daughter. She's no au pair; she's more of a tour guide.*
*My dad also emails periodically to ask why I won't stop fooling around and get a "real job," followed by the names of airlines he's heard need flight stewardesses. This is Reason #209483093 why you should consider what Alain de Botton says in this video. Family may love you, but that doesn't mean ... well, I'll stop there.