Grab a Web Cam, Buy a Sac Dress, BE A STAR!

"I should get you Le Sac."

"Le what?!" When The Man™ talks like this to me, I keep hoping he is referring to exotic sex paraphernalia, but he never is.

He frowns, repulsed by my lack of hip. "That American Apparel dress you can wear in many ways?"

Oh right, Le Sac. In shockingly soothing and non-exploitative fashion, American Apparel is disseminating a series of how-tos on how you -- yes, you -- can turn a shapeless sheath with string into a prized fashion investment. Below are a few variations I like.

The Marilyn:



The Grecian:



The Deepest V:



I'm not optimistic that 10-in-one items of clothing actually yield all the mileage they promise. Have you gone beyond the wrap-it-around, knot-behind-neck phase with your pareo? No? Didn't think so. I also had a four-in-one hat that worked all of one-in-one ways.

But the fresh-faced spawn of YouTube seems determined to make Le Sac work. I don't know if it's the recession or what, but you've got somethin' for the racks and somethin' for the lacks -- all uncomfortably ado,* as the French are wont to say.

Check out the luck plant!

Try not to be distracted by the Dralion.

(The last one's an instant classic. Homegirl's slogan is "not a mirror image and armed with a sac dress." If she plans to pay for college with it, Le Sac better be the magic f*cking lamp of dresses.)

Here's another 7-ways-to-wear-it! video for a different American Apparel dress. I'm posting it because it's somewhat chicer than the previous two and features -- wait for it -- free indie music! Nothing rocks vloggers like an ambient tie-in.



Never mind make-up how-tos. Looks like we've got a new cottage industry. Advertisers: taking notes? It can't be that hard to come up with something -- preferably something cheap -- that people can't figure out how to use on their own.

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* This is slang for "adolescent." It's pretty much used the way you'd say "teen."