Dealbreaker.

Thanks, Real Simple, for reminding me yet again how complicated modern womanhood can be.

Who Says Suzy Homemaker's Dead?

Really old people like to say the '50s and '60s were all about liberating women from the bondage of Domestic Homemakerism.

But after perusing this month's Real Simple, I'm not convinced the homemaking goddess is dead. That isn't to say I think homemaking is bad; I just think the ad messages we find quaint, antiquated and even manipulative still have a home in today's magazines. 

What complements a happy marriage, great kids and a successful career? Miles of perfectly clean stemware, courtesy of my Electrolux dishwasher:

Pork and nail polish -- a match made in heaven. Or possibly Hell's Kitchen:

Don't just make a cheesecake; make a patriot:

But wait! The ad comes with a (sponsored!) recipe! I know I've seen that gimmick before.

Be the big kahuna just for preheating your oven:

But you really should serve a delicious square meal, not a frozen disc:

If the pressure's on, there's always wacky Uncle Ben -- who may like to party, but appreciates the importance of a wholesome meal. I can almost hear his twang:

Long day? Reward yourself with Jell-O's low-calorie rice pudding, which comes in très chic flavours like cinnamon and crème brûlée: the dessert of queens!

And remember: if you get an illicit itch that keeps you up long after Hardworking Hubby, a good fiber-rich cereal will put you right at ease.