Dirty Truths

Me: I wish I had a friend brave enough to tell me--

Him: That you don't know how to put your makeup on?

Me: No! Wait ... what?

Him: Nothing, chérie, laisse tomber.

Image credit: Aihibed.

Toulouse Girls Charge H&M Grand Opening

All for love of the Sonia Rykiel collection? They apparently destroyed everything. And here I was thinking a WalMart-caliber retail stampede was a uniquely US phenomenon.

H/T to the ever-watchful Jeremy Danté.

Traductions: Abusive Showers.

So me and The Man™ were sitting in a government lobby today, talking about my advancement in French. Comme d'habitude, dude raised hell* about how we should speak more French together and how I need to get over this being-shy thing.**

"Oui, je SAIS" -- yes, I know! -- I snapped.

He gave me this look -- the kind of look you give a wounded puppy on a hot deserted street -- and said, "Tu veux que je t'accable?" You want me to [ ] you?

I had this dumb-ho expression on my face, and he was all, "You don't know this word, accabler?"

I shook my head "no," so he busted out with this beat-up pocket FRENCH-ENGLISH dictionary that's probably older than me. Fortified with fresh anglais, he raised his head and said, "Would you like me to overwhelm you?"

Aww. That's cute. "I don't think that's the definition you're looking for," I said.

He nodded and dutifully turned back to the dictionary. Then, more earnestly this time: "Would you like me to shower abuse on you?"

At this I laughed so hard that the Gatekeeper at the accueil turned to us and hissed, "S'IL VOUS PLAIT!" So after that we STFO'ed, but not before I choked on my own spit and died.

Image credit: Armor Photo. I was actually looking for pictures of screaming military sergeants, but none were very good and this one was just......

.....how could you not?

---

*Okay, it was more like furtive purgatory.
**I take classes now to help with this.

Dueling Perspectives on French Productivity

French: The Most Productive People In The World

vs.

Every day's a holiday – if you're French

Subheader to the latter: The mindset of 'work less but gain more' has infected French thinking and created a lazy nation.

Both theses can't be right. Or can they?

---

Slightly off-topic: at the beach in Guadeloupe, The Man™ watched thoughtfully as I struggled to shake sand out of a pareo without getting it to blow back into my face. Then he went:

"Hey. Look here."

I turned.

He calmly folded his pareo in half and shook it briskly left to right, dislodging the sand swiftly and neatly. "See this? Side to side."

"Ohhh," I said.

His eyes grew stern. He stopped the vigorous sarong-shaking. "Do you know why I know this? Because I'm French. And I get five weeks' holidays."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said. "I guess if we weren't so preoccupied with advancing the current state of technology, we might've made time to learn how to shake sand out of blankets."

This naturally led to a fight. Going back on topic though, I do think there's something to the philosophy that knowing how to play contributes to greater efficiency during in-office time. I also think it sucks that as a successfully-conditioned American, the thought of taking a vacation -- even a wee three-day one -- throws me into fits of hysteria-laced anxiety.