To keep arguments from becoming repetitive, he offers a different reason every day. Today's rationale was lobbed early this morning, after passing me a cocktail of multivitamins.
Dad: "Take these now. It's probably the last time you'll have all your nutrients before coming back from France."
Me: "They have multivitamins in France."
Dad: "Those people can't do anything right. They couldn't even win the war." Thoughtful pause. "They don't have peanut butter in Europe."
Me: "Is that why they appealed to the Americans for aid?"
Dad: "Don't be a smart-ass."
Me: "Did you look everywhere in Europe?"
Dad: "They don't have peanut butter there. Can you believe that?"
Me: "I don't like peanut butter."
Dad: "What do you mean, you don't like peanut butter? You grew up on peanut butter."
Me: "That doesn't mean I have to like peanut butter."
Dad: "Peanut butter is the reason why you're smart."
6 comments:
Don't they eat that stuff that the Italians do made from Hazlenuts - Nutella? I thought everyone in Europe ate that. It's their take on the nutty butter stuff. Like soccer is to football or futbol is to football...
I really missed peanut butter while living in France. They've got it in Egypt, but not in France.
And french women don't eat Nutella. Too fattening... and it's a "kid's" food...
You can find peanut butter in France but it's not an everyday type of food for sure. Nutella is awesome, especially in crèpes. Power tip: microwave Nutella for 30 seconds, then pour on vanilla ice cream, in a crèpe. Thank me once you're in heaven.
Diggin' how this thread turned into a Nutella tangent.
You gotta give it to your dad - that was a whole lot of effort to try to string different types of logic into the argument:
1 - If you go to France, you won't be healthy (multivitamins)
2 - If you go to France, you'll become useless, just like the French (not winning the war, not even having peanut butter)
3 - If you go to France, you won't be smart (because peanut butter made you that way)
Three attempts to make vast leaps of logic - he must love you or something.
Kelly -- he's a shockingly cunning man. Unfortunately for him, I am armed with Logic™.
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