To keep arguments from becoming repetitive, he offers a different reason every day. Today's rationale was lobbed early this morning, after passing me a cocktail of multivitamins.
Dad: "Take these now. It's probably the last time you'll have all your nutrients before coming back from France."
Me: "They have multivitamins in France."
Dad: "Those people can't do anything right. They couldn't even win the war." Thoughtful pause. "They don't have peanut butter in Europe."
Me: "Is that why they appealed to the Americans for aid?"
Dad: "Don't be a smart-ass."
Me: "Did you look everywhere in Europe?"
Dad: "They don't have peanut butter there. Can you believe that?"
Me: "I don't like peanut butter."
Dad: "What do you mean, you don't like peanut butter? You grew up on peanut butter."
Me: "That doesn't mean I have to like peanut butter."
Dad: "Peanut butter is the reason why you're smart."