Angela Natividad's Live & Uncensored!

18 December 2008

Peanut Butter as American Virtue

Next month I leave for France. And now that I'm back with my parents for the next couple of weeks, my dad's working tirelessly to keep me from going. (He did this before I left for New York, too, up until the day I stepped onto the plane.)

To keep arguments from becoming repetitive, he offers a different reason every day. Today's rationale was lobbed early this morning, after passing me a cocktail of multivitamins.

Dad: "Take these now. It's probably the last time you'll have all your nutrients before coming back from France."

Me: "They have multivitamins in France."

Dad: "Those people can't do anything right. They couldn't even win the war." Thoughtful pause. "They don't have peanut butter in Europe."

Me: "Is that why they appealed to the Americans for aid?"

Dad: "Don't be a smart-ass."

Me: "Did you look everywhere in Europe?"

Dad: "They don't have peanut butter there. Can you believe that?"

Me: "I don't like peanut butter."

Dad: "What do you mean, you don't like peanut butter? You grew up on peanut butter."

Me: "That doesn't mean I have to like peanut butter."

Dad: "Peanut butter is the reason why you're smart."


Anonymous said...

Don't they eat that stuff that the Italians do made from Hazlenuts - Nutella? I thought everyone in Europe ate that. It's their take on the nutty butter stuff. Like soccer is to football or futbol is to football...

Candace said...

I really missed peanut butter while living in France. They've got it in Egypt, but not in France.

And french women don't eat Nutella. Too fattening... and it's a "kid's" food...

Olivier Travers said...

You can find peanut butter in France but it's not an everyday type of food for sure. Nutella is awesome, especially in crèpes. Power tip: microwave Nutella for 30 seconds, then pour on vanilla ice cream, in a crèpe. Thank me once you're in heaven.

Angela Natividad said...

Diggin' how this thread turned into a Nutella tangent.

Kelly Eidson said...

You gotta give it to your dad - that was a whole lot of effort to try to string different types of logic into the argument:

1 - If you go to France, you won't be healthy (multivitamins)

2 - If you go to France, you'll become useless, just like the French (not winning the war, not even having peanut butter)

3 - If you go to France, you won't be smart (because peanut butter made you that way)

Three attempts to make vast leaps of logic - he must love you or something.

Angela Natividad said...

Kelly -- he's a shockingly cunning man. Unfortunately for him, I am armed with Logic™.