Awkward Smoking Co-Worker Talk.

Him: Salut. Have a good weekend?

Me: Yeah. You? Do anything special?

Him: Not really, I just relaxed.

Me: Yeah, me too.

Pause.

Him: If you really want to know, I planted tulips.

Me: Ooh. Yeah, I guess the weather was good for gardening.

Him: Not really, the weather was horrible. We just brought some bulbs back from a trip and I planted them.

Me: Oh.

Pause.

Me: So, plans to start the next Tulipomania?

Him: What?

Me: Never mind.

Business Cards, Meet Dust Bunnies. Expect to Be Friends for Awhile.

After weeks mulling it over, I wrote a how-to on using Twitter to build brand integrity. It was published on MarketingVOX today.

I was pretty skeptical of Twitter at first; to be frank, I thought it was a load of time-wasting crap. Well, it definitely contributes to my procrastination factor, but it also did something really neat: it reconciled relationships to networking. (I've complained about the contrived feel of classical networking in the past.)

For real-time relationship development, and just generally getting people to give a crap about what you have to say, few things beat Twitter. Not social networking, not blogging. (Although they help.) I actually feel like I have a social life waiting for me every time I approach the monitor.

Which in retrospect is really kind of lame.

But there are offline elements to this as well. At ad:tech SF last week, I met Twitter friends in person and made new ones, too. That, coupled with whomever added me on Facebook, means I don't even feel the inclination to dig through the fresh stack of business cards I came home with. Everybody I want to know, I'm in contact with at any given moment.

Much nicer than the unwanted cold call and awkward martini meeting that follows (if you're lucky!):



While on this big evangelistic high, I considered preaching the merits of Twitter to my parents. Then I thought against it; my relatives are sort of religious. And then I wondered what Twitter could do for religion. 

Ooh. The plot takes a sinister turn.

Prelude to the Diversity Conference

So, the Advertising Industry Diversity Job Fair and Leadership Conference (we need a clever acronym for that) hits SF. Adrants, a sponsor, conveyed me out yonder to represent in the flesh, though the snark ain't out to play. (I'm really sort of shy.)

This evening I attended the networking reception at the Academy of Art student gallery. To start with, I was just blown away by a lot of the work the students in the advertising school are doing. The focus of the exhibit sought to define humanity, a broad and esoteric cat-chase that is really what advertising is all about. While the point of advertising is to sell, great ad people manage that by telling a story about society or the person encountering the product.

In many ways advertising helps relate our values to us, tells us what we want and lends a glimpse of who we want to be. Just ask an Apple fanatic or a Google employee. That's not to say there aren't two edges to that sword.

This networking event notably marks my first group encounter with other members of the marketing and ad community. I started to get pretty stoked about the panel I'll be moderating tomorrow, a dialogue between professionals on what it's like to work in the ad and marketing industry. I got to speak with the panelists beforehand and a lot of hot topics promise to rise to the forefront. A few button-pushers include the issue of diversity and the upsurge of women, who are shaping the industry as both consumers and advertising entities.

I have to say there's probably never been a more exciting time to get involved in this industry. It literally seems to be rebuilding itself: conversing more with consumers instead of at them, and marrying the technical with the creative. It's like the wild wild west all over again, except with no horses and better media.

I'm also inclined to think people smell better now too, not that I'm all leaning in and checking or anything.

The job fair is free for students or people looking for work. If you're in town, drop in.

Why I Love Warren Buffett

They say Warren Buffett made his first stock purchase at the age of 11, a small number of Cities Services shares for $37 each. When the price hit $40 he sold, only to see them hit $200 some years later.

This allegedly taught him what it meant to invest for the long term. And not just in companies but in the people behind them, too.

One thing I admire about Warren Buffett's annual shareholders letters is their lengthy tell-all nature. You feel the same intimacy encountered when hearing the precious particulars of a good friend's life. He reflects, makes jokes and considers past decisions. He also takes great pains to explain the underpinnings of his methods.

After describing the past year's goings-on and some recent acquisitions including Business Wire, in his 2005 letter Buffett reflects upon the way Berkshire develops relationships:

Unlike many business buyers, Berkshire has no “exit strategy.” We buy to keep. We do, though, have an entrance strategy, looking for businesses in this country or abroad that meet our six criteria and are available at a price that will produce a reasonable return. If you have a business that fits, give me a call. Like a hopeful teenage girl, I’ll be waiting by the phone.

Berkshire does it for keeps.

Businesses aren't just currency machines. They're functioning entities with a culture and an ethos supported by people.

Two contributing reasons to Buffett's decision to join forces with Business Wire lived in company president Cathy Baron Tamraz's two-page letter to him: “As president of Business Wire, I’d like to introduce you to my company, as I believe it fits the profile of Berkshire Hathaway subsidiary companies as detailed in a recent Wall Street Journal article [...] We run a tight ship and keep unnecessary spending under wraps. No secretaries or management layers here. Yet we’ll invest big dollars to gain a technological advantage and move the business forward.”

A close watch on finances, coupled with the gumption to take educated risks, made strong recommendations. Let's add a third element: Cathy who, upon reading Berkshire's profile, wasted no time in developing what appears to be a straightforward, no-nonsense relationship from the get-go.

As a proponent of sincerity in networking I should first have mentioned how important I think it is to start yourself off right before even trying to develop relationships with others.

A responsible financial plan, where you don't spend what you haven't earned, may seem old-fashioned and conservative. But a chill attitude about credit will ease a young business out of your hands faster than you can lift it off the ground. Each debt you take on is like a blood pact against your business's strength. Is a blood pact something you really want to make at every open opportunity? The way you manage money reflects a lot about your character.

A willingness to look facts in the face, take criticism and scrutinize the raw elements of your enterprise are also critical. Buffett knows his businesses in and out. And as well as he knows the balance sheets, he knows the people running them.

Then there's the people element. You should never discount the partners and employees whose near-term destinies it will be to make your business a great one. Even if you don't know all the details of their kids, you should at least keep eyes and ears open to what they love, why they work with you and how they manage others - particularly your customers.

It's my opinion that these are the characteristics that put an enterprise at Berkshire caliber, bearing in mind it ain't Google. You're not looking to explode in a handful of years, you're building a solid foundation that many people can feel good about standing on, perhaps even after you're gone.

The conclusion to Buffett's 2005 letter includes the following admission:

Charlie [Munger] and I are extraordinarily lucky. We were born in America; had terrific parents who saw that we got good educations; have enjoyed wonderful families and great health; and came equipped with a "business" gene that allows us to prosper in a manner hugely disproportionate to other people who contribute as much or more to our society’s well-being.

It's not everybody who shares Buffett's net worth, or the sense of immense gratefulness and personal responsibility he exhibits to the people who make it possible and society at large. It merits noting.

Moreover, we have long had jobs that we love, in which we are helped every day in countless ways by talented and cheerful associates. No wonder we tapdance to work.

Oh yeah, that last thing. It helps to pursue something you love doing. Be passionate. Please.

More on Networking

A friend recently made a comment about what a dream it would be to get coddled, wined and dined on a company's tab. "It's not even work!" she snorted.

This topic gets a little touchy for me as people my age often make this generalization about the relationship management component of what I do, either in jest or in the spirit of deprecation.

Let me set the record straight.

It takes serious savvy to learn how to manage conversation's ebbs, flows and silences with people you hope to build meaningful relationships with - people you don't simply choose as friends.

That's the critical difference - these people aren't often friends you elected to make. You get together knowing full well you are meeting for a specific reason that has little to do, though perhaps this should change, with how much you like each other. In a few hours' time it is your dear goal to create a bond as intimate and trusting as an old boys' club, careful to keep silences warm and comfortable because if they veer into awkwardness then the liaison is dead.

Meanwhile you make the right jokes and say things that make you seem amply curious but not too pushy, ethical but not too uptight, witty but not scathing, playful and strong-willed all at once or depending, so people feel value not just in knowing you but in standing on your integrity as a ball-player. Finally, and this is going the extra mile, you have to create a setting so intimate they'll divulge critical details you couldn't otherwise learn from the outside.

It's fine work that takes a steady hand. I wrote an article called Ground Rules on Being a Team Player that elaborates on similar delicacies in an office environment.

Dealing with people gracefully and productively takes a demonstrated willingness to learn about them and stand your own ground. Some people, generally the ones most exposed to this type of relationship management work, grow fond of saying all the right things without investing a sense of sincerity in them. It is hard to trust these people with your ideas and your money.

It's easy to blow expense funds drinking with bullshit people, and it's easy to be a bullshit networker who brings nothing sincere to the table. Here's my more elaborated take on real networking. Obviously there's no clear science, because people are mutable and as many parts emotional as rational. But being sincere, warm and tough are running themes in my experiences.

Oh yeah, and the ability to not pick up the goddamn phone during an engagement. I can't think of anything more alienating than getting shut out all of a sudden by a douche who sticks a finger in my face and says "Hold that thought, I have to take this."

You're the face of your company, for crying out loud. Is that how you treat your customers too?

On Networking

Over the weekend a friend and I had a discussion about the merits of networking. As a fledgling documentarian with a great deal of talent, he explained he is only now realizing how critical relationships are to a make-or-break in the career world, and he's making an effort to develop strategic, beneficial connections.

The guy is sweet and totally guileless; I told him he shouldn't have a problem if that's what he wants to do. But he said he's troubled because he'll have great conversations with "strategic relations," make conversation about the wrong things, then completely forget to mention what he does for a living.

The ideology of networking as a glamorous professional game has given him cold feet. I thought about the conventions and dinners I've had over the last couple of years, remembering the disdain I felt while staring into the face of a talking head with a plastic smile who knew all the proper "casual" things to talk about (sports, the weather, small jabs at my town) before pitching the shit out of me. Out of this monotonous dance, repeated thousands of times by thousands of different faces with little apparent imagination but a savvy for the rhythm, a networking relationship is expected to bloom. Am I actually supposed to feel something for these people, much less be willing to help them out sometime?

I began to consider what lives at the core of the networking relationship, a tool so vital to conducting business. Many articles have been written about the benefits of maintaining connections. One in particular, called "It's Not Who You Know, But Who You Get to Know" (2002), is comprised of interviews in which people discuss professional networking organizations, among other things, including the benefits of remaining in the loop after college:

The ability to stay connected with colleagues, to seek and give counsel, to share information, news and opportunities, to give and obtain career and employment information are but a small part of the benefits you receive.

-Wayne Phillips, President of the Oakland/SF Bay Area
Chapter of the National Forum for Black Public
Administrators

But what's at the core of networking? Why is it such a big deal? One of the biggest beefs I had early on in my career was with the artificial relationship-building that goes on in companies. It's sterile, contrived and worked down to a science. As things stand, I don't consider myself much of a socializer; I spent all of college working and developed pockets of relationships with people I genuinely liked, people who wouldn't give me plastic smiles and with whom I shared a sense of mutual respect or regard. But many would allege this is not how it works; this is doing it wrong.

I'm not discounting the merits of developing strategic alliances; they're key to any career. But we need to remember why networking is so powerful a force in the first place: people aren't wholly rational. We're emotional creatures who are keenly aware of chemistry. How often are accounts won, not because of a great pitch, but because somebody is a "good fit" for the company or job?

With that in mind, I think it's critical to be less concerned with knowing the "proper talk." Instead, let's get more invested in being sincere, so the connection is a pleasure to maintain instead of a royal energy-sapping pain in the ass. Business is comprised of people seeking to make beneficial connections - and when I say beneficial I don't merely mean career-wise. We want to feel that extra something: the connection with somebody that suggests we're really friends, we get each other, and maybe you want to help me, not because I knew what to say about sports or make the right jokes, but because you can see my merits as a person and a professional.

We experience too little genuineness from day to day, especially while running the career track for the majority of our days. You stick out when you truly engage somebody and make a real connection, and that's far more meaningful than the hundreds of business cards stacking up in my desk, representing chipper hollow faces about whose characters I truly know nothing.